Are You My Friend?

I was in the shower this morning, where most of my deep thinking is done, and pondered a response I receieved to a facebook post. Sometimes it’s tough to know what what someone means in a typed message, whether they are sarcastic, annoyed, or just providing a simple response, point-of-fact. Anyway, I didn’t dwell on this long. As I began to wonder how well I really know this person, that thought spread to a general question: how well do I really know anyone?

Here’s an example: most of my friends and even acquaintances know I have been diagnosed with ADHD, and have been treated for it for most of my life. Sometimes friends will tell me they suspect their kid might have ADHD, and they’d like my suggestions on a course of action. We talk, and they thank me. Everything’s normal. However any time I try to follow up – no response. Am I that annoying? Yes. Was I that annoying to those individuals? No. Well, I’m pretty sure I wasn’t. Maybe?

Back in the day my friends learned that a mixture of acceptance and brutal honesty are the key to tolerating my friendship. I can take a harsh criticism as long as there’s something positive like grabbing a bite to eat or playing a video game or something. Maybe that’s the difference now. With most friendships being maintained solely through social media; the physical, geographically close friendship is becoming a rare thing. Have my friendships become tainted by lack of offline interaction? I’m sure of it, and I’m sure I’m not alone.

Something that I’m constantly considering is a barbeque with all my friends. A lot of them don’t know each other, which would make this a great socializing experiment. Who would actually come? I have a hard time gauging who is actually my friend and who just puts up with me. Would I just be there with 5 people and enough food for 20 or 30? Would some of them know each other; each never having known the other even knew me? How many would feel like I do in any group environment, awkward and not really knowing anyone, even if they know everyone there…