My ADHD made me do it

I have witnessed that support groups can be either very helpful (supportive), or unfortunately very unforgiving.  We have all experienced discrimination from people who I lovingly refer to as Normies. We act out in school, talk out-of-turn, are called spaz and retard.  This is the world we know.  A person new the the diagnosis is easy to spot, as everything that happens to them is on account of their ADHD.  When you’re talking to an entire group of people with ADHD, you don’t have to explain. In fact, for a lot of people, it’s kind of annoying.  At least, that’s how it seems to me.  Sometimes I feel like an wizened old codger watching, reading the interactions of people so much newer to the game than I.  Other times, of course, I feel helpless without the people I’ve met in the ADHD community.

For me, gone are the days of “my ADHD made me.”  I am my ADHD. Which means I must be hyper aware of what I say, how I act.  Not easy, I dare say often next to impossible.  Hindsight, though. Hindsight’s a bitch.  Shoot off an email, then realize I said something the wrong way.  But my ADHD didn’t make me do that.  My impatience did.  

I digress.  With ADHD, we know discrimination.  We know inequality. But imagine being black or Muslim AND having ADHD, or any other mental illness.  Imagine being a lesbian or transgender, and having a disability which makes self control nearly impossible.  

What I witnessed was about someone not understanding something they read about immigrants (blaming their ADHD) and how they were spurned afterward.  ADHD didn’t cause this to not understand.  That would be ignorance.  Questioning it was the right thing, that’s how we learn.  ADHD caused this person to not think about the way they asked, which further displayed their ignorance.  THEN, they were unfriended and told off by someone of equal ignorance rather than that person taking the opportunity to educate their peers.   

So while so many people are blaming their actions on the trials of life caused by their skin color, or their mental illness, or their righteousness, ignorance breeds ignorance. Racism breeds racism. Discrimination begets discrimination.  Excuses traded for more excuses.  

Be aware of your ADHD  and act accordingly. Be aware of How your race, your disability, or your lifestyle might be judged or might keep you from understanding others. Understand your own situation and how best to adress it before entering into discourse, and think about how and why others might feel the way they do, as strongly as you feel the way you do.  Be open minded about the fact that your situation may provide you with better circumstances than others.  Others’ situations may put them in worse circumstances.  Race, religion, disability; they are all real. They all cause very real problems for people. Very different problems.  
I’m not sure this is written as clearly as it needs to be.  Some things are difficult to stay PC about.  You can’t just say your problems are worse than mine or anyone else’s.  You can’t just say you know someone’s pain because you have pain.  And you can’t hide behind your circumstances.  That’s the gist of it.

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Hibernation

I am starting ro wonder if my winter funk is going to be a regular thing. For a few months every year now, I leave the ADHD community; and to a lesser extend, Social Media; to seek solace elsewhere.  I creep into a shell and the normal Andrew just sort of hibernates while a lesser version of myself comes out to take his place.

I think hibernation is a better term than “Winter Funk”.  Right now I feel like I’m still out of my norm. Writing these is difficult.  Usually words come easily when I’m describing what I’m going through.  Lately all I’ve been able to muster up is a lame Wellness Wagon post.  The Wellness Wagon itself is not lame.   Don’t get me wrong.  But the posts I’ve been putting up… lamesies.  But at least this week I can reshare a ridiculous old favorite: Romance and onions.

Maybe with a few likes, shares, and comments; I can work up the nerve to write again… *shameless plea for support*

Wellness Wagon: Week 20

Monday.  The most productive day of my week, except when it comes to running.  I’m still recovering from being sick, and this morning’s run didn’t happen.  I set all my clothes out last night, I went to bed thinking about how nice it will be to get a run in at the beginning of my day and be balanced and focused.  But this morning, my body had different plans

I went to bed at a decent time, got 7 hours of sleep, but when that alarm went off at 4, I felt like I had been hit by a truck.  I opted for the extra 90 minutes of sleep and now I feel a lot better.  I will have to see about running tonight.

But now that I am thinking about it, do I have to run?  Right now, I’m just trying to exercise and be healthier.  I know I’ve been talking about cardio and stuff but I mostly run (if I do anything at all).  Maybe it’s time to change that up.  Maybe tonight I’ll play Dance Dance Revolution with my kids, or Just Dance; and get some movement in that way… I think I need some variety.

Cigarettes.  A fellow quitter started back up last week and I was really put to the test as we spend quite a bit of time together and he smelled like cigarettes.  I am happy to report, however, that I still have not smoked, and it’s now been 20 weeks.  I’ve been drinking pretty heavily, and with some recent family drama regarding alcohol, this might be a good time to revisit my alcohol policy.

Food.  Boy have I upped my sugar game.  I have been eating so much candy.  So. Much. Candy.  That has to stop!   I really feel awful too, when I go too long without decent food.  So this week I’m back to home made Paleo chicken salad for lunch, and back to watching my carbs and getting more protein in my breakfast.

 

Vacation Blues

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Vacation blues (Revisited)

What you want from a vacation is not always what you get.   Family reunions, especially.  There are always those favorite relatives who couldn’t make it.  That crazy aunt or uncle who drives everyone nuts (or is the life of the party).  One thing I’ve always loved, however, is the break from reality.  Drink a little more, eat a little worse, stay up a little later.

Not anymore.   Continue reading