Wellness Wagon: finale

I’ve come to realize that with only having regular disappointment in my efforts I’ve come to resent my wellness wagon experience and trying to write about it. I’ve lost track of the real purpose of this blog and it’s time to reboot. But first, let’s recap.
I have gone 1 year without a cigarette.  I have been running, off and on, and I’m not in terrible shape.  Another great thing that came out of this past year is the return of the Alumni Run. When I ran cross country in high school, we began the season each year by inviting the alumni to race against the current team. That ent away after I graduated.  I reached out to the current coach and we are beinging it back!  The first race is in August!

So that gives me something to work toward.  I still feel unhealthy and I’ve had a lot of days where my ADHD gets the best of me. 

So the lesson learned here is treating ADHD with exercise and diet requires strict structure and discipline, which of course I lack.  What isn’t shown in my wellness wagon posts is that once you do successfully develop a schedule and stick to it for a few weeks, it starts to get easier and it does work.

So what comes next?  

Well first I wrote about growing up with ADHD, sprinkling ing random stories and rants (season1).  Then I turned my focus to treatment with diet and exercise (Season2).  I am going to go back and share my favorite posts so far, and then start writing new posts, sticking more to a diary format , only writing when I have something to say instead of trying to stick to a weekly post.  I shall call it…  season3?  Meh, sounds lame but we’ll see.  So hats off to the wellness wagon.  I am still unmedicated and still looking for brain hacks etc, for my ADHD, but no more will I be writing about exercise etc., just for the sake of writing something.

Wellness Wagon: Week 13

it’s a short one, this week.

13 weeks of exercise, nutrition, and smoking cessation.  I am 20 lbs lighter now, and still working at it.  I just completed a “Biggest Loser” challenge at work, and I think I’ve finally developed sufficient nutrition habits to maintain a healthier lifestyle.  The struggle is still real to get out and exercise regularly.  I’ve committed to my kids to take them out running once a week, to help reinforce my own efforts as well as to start developing good habits for them. I am still not at 100% from being sick, but I’m close.

 

See you next week!

Is it ADHD, or am I just angry?

My favorite blogger, Tom Nardone, once wrote about the idea that sometimes it’s not ADHD, it’s just a bad day.

I imagine it is probably easy for those around me to associate every time that I get angry with Tantrum, and dismiss the validity of my frustration. Admittedly, I often do not direct my frustration at the source. I generally just get testy and take it out on anyone or anything around me; so its easy to miss that I might actually have a valid reason to be upset.  Right now, my anxiety is at an all time high, because I’m starting a new role at work.  So, while nothing about work has made me angry or upset, I’m still uptight.  I am nervous and trying to learn new things all day, and so when I get home, I’m tired or annoyed.  One might say that if my temper is harder to control at this stage, that it’s my ADHD.  Maybe it is…

Here’s the thing: regardless of why I’m freaking out, in my mind it is valid in the moment. Its me against the world.  These days, I will shut myself off from the world and from whatever has triggered me so I can calm down. Some people call this “sulking.  Whatever.  When I’m “sulking” you have to leave me the hell alone.  That’s all there is to it.  The worst possible thing you could do is nag at me about how I “always walk away.”  I do always walk away.  There’s a reason for that.  I either have shut down mentally and cannot hold a conversation due to my temper, or I recognize my temper is a thing, and I’ve walked away to talk myself down without negatively impacting my family.  I may always walk away, but when I’ve calmed down, I always come back and the conversation is always better than if someone stops me and forces me into confrontation.

I know it seems childish, or immature, but seriously consider, when someone is at their melting point, just leaving them alone to stew a bit.

Wellness Wagon: Week 12.5

Another late entry.

I was sick for a week.  I still managed to run 2.5 this morning.  And by run, I mean I ran 1.5 and ran/walked the rest.  Feeling like garbage the whole way.

I am still down a pound from last week, but that can’t be healthy weight loss.  So I don’t anticipate being down again next week, but we’ll see.  I’m feeling a lot better, so hopefully this morning was a one-off.  I honestly felt like crap, and after mile two I was very angry have having to have taken so many days off.  I know getting sick is just one of those uncontrollables that happens sometimes, but it still sucks.  I felt even more motivated to work harder, which actually may not be the best thing until I’ve fully recovered.  So we’ll see how that goes… Continue reading

Wellness Wagon: Week 8

So It’s week 8.  8 weeks ago I weighed 213 pounds.  I committed to losing weight for the second time this year. I made it down to 193 the first time, and I’m down to 198 now with 6 weeks to go.  That’s the good news.  The bad news is that we had a couple of going away celebrations at work with pizza and donuts and I definitely got a little crazy.  I’m back up over 200 lbs and  full of regret.  I have 5 days until Wednesday’s weigh in though, so hopefully I can run it off.

8 Weeks ago tonight I smoked my last cigarette. I have to say, I figured it would be no big deal because I was such a light smoker to begin with.  Since then I’ve really started having serious cravings though.  Especially if I’m drinking.  So, it’s been 5 days since my last drink.  I’m not sure if this is me biting the bullet, but for now, I’ll keep track and we’ll see how long I make it with no alcohol.  But, yeah – 8 weeks, no smoking!

Final note: The end goal for all of this is to get in shape and complete another Tough Mudder, this time completing all the obstacles.  Because obstacles require a person to literally pull their own weight (literally), I want to get down to 180lbs by 2017.  if I can get to 190 by September, that will be a reasonable goal.  So now it’s time to start focusing a bit on the future, not just the present.  What is going to motivate me to keep going after this weight loss challenge is over?  I can’t just fall off the wagon again.  So now it’s not about finishing the challenge, but moving forward to the next goal.

toughmudder

Weakness and Wellness

Many people who have been reading this blog recently know that I have a weekly wellness update to help hold myself accountable.  I thought it would be a good idea to expand on things that are difficult during this transition.

First, let’s get the obvious out of the way.  I have ADHD, hence the existence of this blog.  So of course, developing an exercise routine has been at the forefront of my frustration.  So, how do I cope with this?  I must have a semi-functional process because exercise is the primary way I manage my ADHD symptoms.

  • accept the fact that I am going to break from whatever routine I set up.  it’s going to happen.  It’s a weakness.  Get over it.
  • include enough movement and/or fun activity in my day to ensure I get some level of calorie burn higher than just sitting at a desk all day.
    • I have hand weights at work, 10lbs each, that I can do curls with.
    • I can walk on my lunch break.
    • I can take the kids for a bike ride when I get home.
  • This does not mean I should skip a meal.  That’s not to say I haven’t gone that route, but it’s bad so don’t do it.

So here we are.  Meals…  Continue reading

ADHD and Intimacy

 

I figured ADHD and sex was probably too racy a title, but that’s pretty much the topic of the day.  If you haven’t already, I recommend listening to Jeff Copper’s interview with Dr. Ari Tuckman, featured in my June ADHD Review, before reading this entry.

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A couple months ago, I listened to the interview between Jeff and Dr. Tuckman about masturbation and ADHD.  Masturbation can be a coping mechanism, a means of procrastinating, or just a means of getting that dopamine fix.  But it got me thinking…

Jeff and Dr. Tuckman discussed a bit about sex drive, and sex and masturbation habits among the ADHD tribe versus non-ADHD people (or as I lovingly refer to them, Normies).  This is fascinating to me, because I am married to a Normie.  My kids, for all intents and purposes, are Normies.  So any comparison between the tribe and non-tribe I find interesting.  I’d like to add a few perspectives to the conversation as well, pertaining to sexual focus and persistence on the part of the ADHD individual.

Continue reading