Wellness Wagon: finale

I’ve come to realize that with only having regular disappointment in my efforts I’ve come to resent my wellness wagon experience and trying to write about it. I’ve lost track of the real purpose of this blog and it’s time to reboot. But first, let’s recap.
I have gone 1 year without a cigarette.  I have been running, off and on, and I’m not in terrible shape.  Another great thing that came out of this past year is the return of the Alumni Run. When I ran cross country in high school, we began the season each year by inviting the alumni to race against the current team. That ent away after I graduated.  I reached out to the current coach and we are beinging it back!  The first race is in August!

So that gives me something to work toward.  I still feel unhealthy and I’ve had a lot of days where my ADHD gets the best of me. 

So the lesson learned here is treating ADHD with exercise and diet requires strict structure and discipline, which of course I lack.  What isn’t shown in my wellness wagon posts is that once you do successfully develop a schedule and stick to it for a few weeks, it starts to get easier and it does work.

So what comes next?  

Well first I wrote about growing up with ADHD, sprinkling ing random stories and rants (season1).  Then I turned my focus to treatment with diet and exercise (Season2).  I am going to go back and share my favorite posts so far, and then start writing new posts, sticking more to a diary format , only writing when I have something to say instead of trying to stick to a weekly post.  I shall call it…  season3?  Meh, sounds lame but we’ll see.  So hats off to the wellness wagon.  I am still unmedicated and still looking for brain hacks etc, for my ADHD, but no more will I be writing about exercise etc., just for the sake of writing something.

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Wellness wagon: falling off

Week 25ish.  I am still cigarette free.  Otherwise I’m not doing so well.  I know, I know.  How am I supposed to motivate and inspire…? Tell me about it.  I’m at a point where that’s going to be tough.  So many people with and without ADHD experience seasonal depression.  I haven’t been diagnosed with it, myself,but I wouldn’t be surprised.  

I know that if I go out and run a couple miles every morning.  I even tell myself this all day every day.  To those people who say to me “Andrew, you don’t understand. It’s not that easy,”  I say to you “I do understand. I haven’t run more than 1 day per week for almost 2 months. In fact I’ve gone several weeks at a time without a single run.”  That doesn’t make it any less true that a run will make me feel better.  

So right now I’m drinking and eating my way through the winter blahs along with so many people; feeling like crappy about it, and knowing that I can escape the fog anytime with healthy food anytime and exercise, yet no motivation to do either.

Wellness Wagon: Week… 23.5?

This week’s theme is all about the New Years Resolution.

but first…

All those people out there who say things like “I lost 600 pounds in a week!  If I can do it, you can too!”  It’s no wonder this process is so depressing for so many people.  The real world isn’t that simple.

It’s been two and a half weeks since my last post because I have been feeling pretty worthless.  I can’t even say that nothing I’m trying is working.  just about everything I try works, when I keep trying.  So my first New Year’s resolution is to keep trying.  Boom.  Done.  Res 1 established.

 

But wait, there’s more!  I imagine this will get people thinking about creating a resolution of their own, around getting healthy or healthier.  I challenge you to take it one step further.  I am going to start pursuing my health resolution tomorrow.

That’s right.  Tomorrow.

 

I challenge you to set your New Year’s Health Resolution NOW.

Then, Start it right away.  Do not let up until Jan 1.  Then we will be well under way.  Keep a journal or a tally. It’s been 1 day, 2 days, 3 days since I let Depression keep me from exercising.  It’s been 6 weeks since I downed a bag of Cheetos.

I am starting tomorrow.  Start with me.  Comment below when you start.  Regardless of when you read this, start tomorrow. Comment weekly, monthly. Comment here, comment on my Facebook page when I share blog posts.  The more comments I see, the more I’ll be motivated, and the more I can motivate you.  Let’s do this together.  I’m going to feel like crap when I roll out of bed tomorrow morning, but I will not let that stop me.

Start your 2017 goals now.

 

Wellness Wagon: Week 20

Monday.  The most productive day of my week, except when it comes to running.  I’m still recovering from being sick, and this morning’s run didn’t happen.  I set all my clothes out last night, I went to bed thinking about how nice it will be to get a run in at the beginning of my day and be balanced and focused.  But this morning, my body had different plans

I went to bed at a decent time, got 7 hours of sleep, but when that alarm went off at 4, I felt like I had been hit by a truck.  I opted for the extra 90 minutes of sleep and now I feel a lot better.  I will have to see about running tonight.

But now that I am thinking about it, do I have to run?  Right now, I’m just trying to exercise and be healthier.  I know I’ve been talking about cardio and stuff but I mostly run (if I do anything at all).  Maybe it’s time to change that up.  Maybe tonight I’ll play Dance Dance Revolution with my kids, or Just Dance; and get some movement in that way… I think I need some variety.

Cigarettes.  A fellow quitter started back up last week and I was really put to the test as we spend quite a bit of time together and he smelled like cigarettes.  I am happy to report, however, that I still have not smoked, and it’s now been 20 weeks.  I’ve been drinking pretty heavily, and with some recent family drama regarding alcohol, this might be a good time to revisit my alcohol policy.

Food.  Boy have I upped my sugar game.  I have been eating so much candy.  So. Much. Candy.  That has to stop!   I really feel awful too, when I go too long without decent food.  So this week I’m back to home made Paleo chicken salad for lunch, and back to watching my carbs and getting more protein in my breakfast.

 

Fear

7-4-2016

FEAR

 

Fear is a force to be reckoned with.

 

Growing up, my main motivation was the fear of letting down my team mates and my family.  I would beat myself up over grades and performance because I didn’t want others to beat me up over it.  I was a pretty good runner, and a pretty good student, but not really all that happy.

I was afraid also to make friends, and had a hard time keeping the friends I had, with a few very important exceptions.  In any kind of relationship, be it friend, family, or romantic, I realize that fear of letting the other party down, or even more so fear that I’ve already let them down drives me crazy.  If I think I’ve pissed off or annoyed a friend, I may not talk to that friend for months, secretly hoping they will say to me “Hey, Andrew, why haven’t you called?  Everything ok?  Let’s hang out!”  Of course, it really just looks like I’m avoiding that friend or those individuals and I look like the bear who shouldn’t be poked.

I wrote the other day about my temper having gotten the best of me one night, trying to get my kids ready for bed.  That night has been gnawing at me.  I am so afraid that I’ve royally screwed up that I can’t help but practically beg for ways to make things better.  Constantly asking my wife if she needs anything, taking the family to a move, trying harder to stay on top of the housework so there’s less for me to get on everyone else about; these are all ways I’m trying to work past my fear.  The anxiety is overwhelming, and I expect that any day, my girls will tell me they don’t like being around me.  That anxiety, that fear that I’m already in the doghouse and it’s just a matter of time before the locks on the house are changed, it’s terrible.  I have only myself to blame, right?  That’s what I keep telling myself.

 

I haven’t been running since last Wednesday.  I have been walking every day but I think that the inconsistency in my running is more detrimental than not exercising at all.  I have had a hard time staying on task and controlling my knee-jerk reactions.  I feel like everything is falling down around me.  I can only do my best to put on a happy face and just keep swimming.  Hopefully getting back into the routine after the holiday will help.  Otherwise, I am not sure how to stop being a nervous wreck.

The Wellness Wagon: week 1

So, it has been 6 days since my last cigarette. Not a big deal just yet, I as I’ve gone months at a time…  I ran Wednesday morning, walked every day of the week, and ate fairly healthy all week. Unfortunately after wednesday’s run I have some swelling in my heel and it’s become pretty tender.  Gotta lay off the running for now.  Lots of walking in my future 😦

  A coworker gave me some gummy worms Tuesday and I had home made Guava BBQ pulled pork Wednesday night.  Al’s Pizza Thursday (office luncheon)…. Mcdonalds jalapeño McChicken and some fries Friday.  Otherwise, my meals were fairly healthy.

I have lost approximately 5 pounds this week, which I’m sure is a result of exercise, diet, and the fact that my first weigh in was on a full stomach.

I started a group on Facebook with a few of my friends to allow us all to provide support and accountability as we get our acts together, and hopefully it will lead to meeting up here and there for hiking, fishing, and all-around healthy activities.

ADHD Review – June Teaser

As promised, I have begun listening to podcasts and reading blogs, and will be putting up some kind of review or commentary in June.  I plan on providing some kind of monthly commentary on a book or one of several podcasts and blogs I will be catching up on this summer.  I really want to learn more about ADHD, but it will not be 100% technical.  Many of my favorite writers and speakers with ADHD don’t necessarily mention ADHD in everything they do. Continue reading