Wellness Wagon: Week 34

Well this entry has cetainly been something.  This is my 2nd time typing it because I didn’t have patience enough to wait for WordPress to update, and thought it posted a draft, unedited and incomplete. So I deleted it.

Then I saw the post on my facebook page and it was the correct one. The one I deleted…
So here we are.
Week 34. No cigarettes and minimal weight control.  So, good and bad.  I ran 3 miles Sunday.  Well, I walked a bunch of it but I got out there and I’ve been riding my bike.  Which, if you haven’t done in a while, is guaranteed to make you feel old and out of shape.  So here I am, old and fat and ready to get out there and conquer the world with exercise and nutrition.  Ish.  But seriously, I hate how half-assed my efforts have been.

Lately, I ‘ve been stressing and my headache’s are getting more frequent and worse.  The other day, my wife made me some beard oil with essential oils which help me focus and help with anxiety. Probably one of the best things I’ve had for my ADHD in a long time.  She also mixed me some oils to help with tension headaches – while I was having one – just made a remedy right then and there, just for me.  Both were super helpful.

The oils should help with my focus which helps my ADHD.  The focus will help me keep up with the running, which in turn will help with the ADHD.  You see the positive feedback cycle here.  At least, that’s how I hope it works.

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Hibernation

I am starting ro wonder if my winter funk is going to be a regular thing. For a few months every year now, I leave the ADHD community; and to a lesser extend, Social Media; to seek solace elsewhere.  I creep into a shell and the normal Andrew just sort of hibernates while a lesser version of myself comes out to take his place.

I think hibernation is a better term than “Winter Funk”.  Right now I feel like I’m still out of my norm. Writing these is difficult.  Usually words come easily when I’m describing what I’m going through.  Lately all I’ve been able to muster up is a lame Wellness Wagon post.  The Wellness Wagon itself is not lame.   Don’t get me wrong.  But the posts I’ve been putting up… lamesies.  But at least this week I can reshare a ridiculous old favorite: Romance and onions.

Maybe with a few likes, shares, and comments; I can work up the nerve to write again… *shameless plea for support*

Wellness wagon: WEEK 33

Week 33 with no cigarettes and continuing to give a crap about my health.  My weight is still steadily decreasing as i shed the weight of the holidays.  It is Sunday, and I was going to run today, but a tedious brake job consumed more of my day than it should have,  so the run will have to happen in the morning.  I have actually been drinking quite heavily lately, so that is something which, over the next few weeks, I will develop some kind of plan to address.  I am feeling better, all in all, than I was a month ago.  We’ll see if this keeps up.

Mental Illness

Recently I have been dealing with a lot of anger, depression, and anxiety.  I used to say that I don’t agree with the term “mental illness” because I think of illness and disease as triggered by a virus, fungus, mold, etc. I think of contagions.  But when asked what I have to be angry, depressed, or anxious about; all I could say is that it wasn’t something I could control.  

It just happens.  Like the flu. In that aspect I can see more that mental illness kinda fits.  And a lot of mental illnesses are passed on, through genetics or our environment. So I guess my stance has changed.  Much like a sickness, my issues are often unexpected, and they don’t just go away.  It often takes effort and treatment.

I try to use exercise as treatment, but it might be time to seek medicinal options.

Wellness Wagon: week 31

31 weeks cigarette free.  Starting to slim down again, and I’ve cut back on junk food and alcohol.  Let’s see if I can’t get to my goals before the Wellness Wagon one year mark!

  • Drop weight down to 180 from 216
  • Register for tough mudder and 10k
  • Continue to be cigarette free
  • Develop a more consistent dietary plan

I have until June to get it together! My biggest obstacle is my own attitude.  I have had a lot of “I can’t” going on, and i haven’t had the energy or motivation get more exercise and make better food.

Dark place

I know that a lot of the things that upset me shouldn’t.  At least not as much as they do.  But they do.

I know, that the things that upset me upset others.  No, we are not upset by the same things; but rather others are upset that I am upset by the things which upset me.

So I keep my mouth shut and allow myself to be upset. Until someone notices. And gets upset that I’m upset.
“Talk to me. Tell me why you’re angry.”

Followed by tears because I’m such a monster.  Which is why I was keeping my mouth shut to begin with.

I can’t control what makes me mad. I try to deal in my own way, and people take it personally.  

So what do I do?

Wellness wagon: week 29.5

I’m finally starting to come out of my holiday slump. I had the day off today, so I went for a run this morning and finally took down my Christmas tree.  It’s only been up for 3 months…

I am heavier now than I was this time last year but it is already starting to come off again. I am still cigarette free.  Maybe this is the start of my tough mudder/ 13.1 training?

I just have to say that getting off my ass and getting stuff done today felt good.  I cleaned a bit, ran some errands, took down the Christmas tree, finished packing my Christmas package to my mom,  ran, played some video games, and right now I’m baking sriracha bacon tuna balls.  After that it’s swai filets in cream of mushroom sauce that’s goin in the oven for dinner, and while that’s being eaten, an apple crisp will go in for dessert.  

It’s been a good day.