Not everything in life will be rainbows and butterflies, let’s face it. Here I sit, in the dark of my house at night while the rest of my family sleeps. Not just in the dark of my house, but also in the darkest place of my heart.
I have the tough challenge of having to balance many things in my life. I have a wife and two children with her, along with a daughter from a previous relationship. I have to juggle my own imperfection with that of my life. My oldest lives in two households with different rules and personalities. My wife and I have different opinions on how to run our own household and how to raise three kids with different circumstances and values. We often find ourselves at an impass; and my emotions, my inability to see things the way most people see things, makes parenting more difficult than it should be.
My parents are divorced and with each of them comes a unique set of difficulties and pleasures. Annoyances and comforts. Frustration, anger, and love. I have a long distance and often strained,often complicated, but always worth it, relationship with my mother; and a geographically closer, simpler, yet often intimidating relationship with my father. I can only hope to be half the parent either of them are to me.
My wife and I come from different backgrounds. I am her city boy and she is my country girl. I am complicated where she is not. We can both be stubborn and I couldn’t have hoped for a better person to spend my life with; but marriage can be stressful. Parenting can be stressful. We don’t always see eye to eye, eithe because we disagree or because we just don’t understand where the other is coming from sometimes.
I think most people look to us bloggers for guidance, for hope. To be fair, however, sometimes hope is hard to find. Sometimes you have to accept that there are things in life over which you have very little control. It could be your emotions, their emotions, the upbringing of your own children… and in the end you can’t always look to hope. You simply have to do your best to love everyone in your life and trust that the best possible outcome will arise so long as you maintain that love and non-judgement.
If you are a part of my life, be that part big or small; know that I have nothing but love for you, otherwise you would not be in my life. I want nothing but the best for you, and there is no one I know who isn’t capable of finding their way to the best life they can have. We may not always agree, and it may be my fault more often than not when things go wrong or we disagree. I accept that and thank you all for being in my life anyway. Near or far, big or small; there is not a single person in my life I am not thankful for. If you come to my blog for support, answers, or comfort; know that in love these things can be found. Find the love in your heart and share it. It is there, I promise.