I have witnessed that support groups can be either very helpful (supportive), or unfortunately very unforgiving. We have all experienced discrimination from people who I lovingly refer to as Normies. We act out in school, talk out-of-turn, are called spaz and retard. This is the world we know. A person new the the diagnosis is easy to spot, as everything that happens to them is on account of their ADHD. When you’re talking to an entire group of people with ADHD, you don’t have to explain. In fact, for a lot of people, it’s kind of annoying. At least, that’s how it seems to me. Sometimes I feel like an wizened old codger watching, reading the interactions of people so much newer to the game than I. Other times, of course, I feel helpless without the people I’ve met in the ADHD community.
For me, gone are the days of “my ADHD made me.” I am my ADHD. Which means I must be hyper aware of what I say, how I act. Not easy, I dare say often next to impossible. Hindsight, though. Hindsight’s a bitch. Shoot off an email, then realize I said something the wrong way. But my ADHD didn’t make me do that. My impatience did.
I digress. With ADHD, we know discrimination. We know inequality. But imagine being black or Muslim AND having ADHD, or any other mental illness. Imagine being a lesbian or transgender, and having a disability which makes self control nearly impossible.
What I witnessed was about someone not understanding something they read about immigrants (blaming their ADHD) and how they were spurned afterward. ADHD didn’t cause this to not understand. That would be ignorance. Questioning it was the right thing, that’s how we learn. ADHD caused this person to not think about the way they asked, which further displayed their ignorance. THEN, they were unfriended and told off by someone of equal ignorance rather than that person taking the opportunity to educate their peers.
So while so many people are blaming their actions on the trials of life caused by their skin color, or their mental illness, or their righteousness, ignorance breeds ignorance. Racism breeds racism. Discrimination begets discrimination. Excuses traded for more excuses.
Be aware of your ADHD and act accordingly. Be aware of How your race, your disability, or your lifestyle might be judged or might keep you from understanding others. Understand your own situation and how best to adress it before entering into discourse, and think about how and why others might feel the way they do, as strongly as you feel the way you do. Be open minded about the fact that your situation may provide you with better circumstances than others. Others’ situations may put them in worse circumstances. Race, religion, disability; they are all real. They all cause very real problems for people. Very different problems.
I’m not sure this is written as clearly as it needs to be. Some things are difficult to stay PC about. You can’t just say your problems are worse than mine or anyone else’s. You can’t just say you know someone’s pain because you have pain. And you can’t hide behind your circumstances. That’s the gist of it.