Happy Birthday

January 4th. I’m 36 today. I find myself making the same goals for this year as I do every year.  I have started each year the same. Fat and unhappy.  I’m not morbidly obese, but it doesn’t take much for my back to have issues.

When I was 31 I decided I was going to start conditioning and get back into running.  Every spring I get back in shape, I lose about 20 pounds and get up to about a 5 or 6 mile weekly long run and 3 miles per day minimum, 4 days a week.  Every Fall it falls apart.  I am starting to wonder if it will ever be a reality. I’ve come to the realization that, in order to get into the shape I want to be in, It has to b3 an obession.  Everything I do, from what I eat to what I do and when/how much I sleep.  Is that the kind of effort I’m willing or even able to put into it?

By now I had hoped to be running marathons.  Tough mudders.  

Anyway, that’s what’s on my mind on this birthday.  Maybe this will be the year I get it done.


One thought on “Happy Birthday

  1. Happy birthday! Cut yourself a little slack. Imagine where you might be if you never set fitness/health goals. September through New Year’s is brutal — for those of us with ADHD, everything is harder. I had such a jacked up relationship with food & exercise until I blew out my knee. Worst. Depression. Ever. But…i got through it, learned to eat better, went to another extreme and starved myself (i never thought it was possible either, but yeah…) I’m almost afraid to type the words but now at 41 I feel more physically balanced than I ever dreamed. (Something clicked for me around 40.) Keep trying and most importantly be kind to yourself. All the best to you this year!


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