My favorite blogger, Tom Nardone, once wrote about the idea that sometimes it’s not ADHD, it’s just a bad day.
I imagine it is probably easy for those around me to associate every time that I get angry with Tantrum, and dismiss the validity of my frustration. Admittedly, I often do not direct my frustration at the source. I generally just get testy and take it out on anyone or anything around me; so its easy to miss that I might actually have a valid reason to be upset. Right now, my anxiety is at an all time high, because I’m starting a new role at work. So, while nothing about work has made me angry or upset, I’m still uptight. I am nervous and trying to learn new things all day, and so when I get home, I’m tired or annoyed. One might say that if my temper is harder to control at this stage, that it’s my ADHD. Maybe it is…
Here’s the thing: regardless of why I’m freaking out, in my mind it is valid in the moment. Its me against the world. These days, I will shut myself off from the world and from whatever has triggered me so I can calm down. Some people call this “sulking. Whatever. When I’m “sulking” you have to leave me the hell alone. That’s all there is to it. The worst possible thing you could do is nag at me about how I “always walk away.” I do always walk away. There’s a reason for that. I either have shut down mentally and cannot hold a conversation due to my temper, or I recognize my temper is a thing, and I’ve walked away to talk myself down without negatively impacting my family. I may always walk away, but when I’ve calmed down, I always come back and the conversation is always better than if someone stops me and forces me into confrontation.
I know it seems childish, or immature, but seriously consider, when someone is at their melting point, just leaving them alone to stew a bit.