Time for another reboot! I anticipate this is one not everyone will agree with…
Getting What You Want
For everyone, and maybe more-so those of us blessed with ADHD, anxiety, and/or depression, motivation can be elusive. Lately my hills and valleys have been frequent. some days I am motivated and ready to get things done. others (the next, usually), not so much. The last couple days have been “not so much” days. I haven’t been feeling well either, which of course doesn’t help matters. Motivation to complete unwanted tasks is something I have had difficulty with for as long as I can remember. Waning motivation. It’s like the tide, and it seems like I have to fight more and more for high tide.
I feel it’s times like this when strength of mind is important. I have difficulty getting over how I feel and just making myself do what needs to be done. I don’t think this is something specific to ADHD. We could all use some mental strength, right?
What really gets me is when I have no support. I can’t stand it when I’m cleaning somewhere and everyone else is playing, reading, or watching TV. Also, It is hard to keep doing things regularly when there’s regularly nothing done. I’m sure that makes a ton of sense. Take the dishes for example. I have 3 kids, there are always dishes. I could load the dishwasher just about every day. And yet I don’t. Because I am also behind on the laundry, the vacuuming, the toilets… There are only so many hours in the day to get things done and it’s all screaming at me that I need to do it now. And when I do decide to do something and put forth an effort, is it fair to expect everyone else in the house to support my sudden desire to have a spotless home? Not really. There are two possible outcomes to this conundrum: 1 – I suck it up and do everything I want done, alone; 2 – I snap nuts and flip out on everyone who comes near me, but still work on the chores, at least until I break something. Help is nice but I can’t expect others in the home to comply with my willy-nilly spontaneous cleaning. I realize that, but I sometimes wish we could all just work together everyday to keep the house clean.
so that’s my “one of those days” blog. hopefully the next one will be more chipper 🙂
Some things are constant and simply do not change. I still have a strong desire to work together on keeping the house picked up. A recent spill emphasized this feeling. I am keeping quiet about it at home, however, because I was right when I initially wrote this. It’s not fair to expect others to just drop what they’re doing to jump on what I want done. I will be slowly but surely working on straightening up the house and getting it better organized and more child/pet friendly, as I’ve allowed it to become less so over the past few months.
I italicized the paragraph above because now I’m not sure I really agree with it. This is a huge point of conflict for me. I had a whole page after this basically bitching about housework, but it comes down to two things:
- my wife and I set different priorities on housework, which sometimes leads to some of it getting out of control.
- I hate being the only one doing housework at any given moment when I suddenly feel motivated to do so.
These two things are what led me initially to the initial blog, which basically comes to the understanding that if I suddenly want the dishes completely done, I better be ready to do it myself, and without interest from anyone else, because it’s random, sudden, and duh… it’s work.
my contention is that perhaps my wife and I should work on an agreement to work together to help each other with the housework, with taking turns watching the kids as they terrorize the neighbors, and even with cooking dinner (I like to cook, but a break is nice).
so I imagine some readers will agree that I should be pissed when I don’t get any help in random housework, and others may agree that if I can’t maintain some level of normalcy when it comes to the topic, I shouldn’t just expect others to jump up and help whenever I decide the time is right.
And so I leave you all with just one more way that I live ADHD.
read the original post here.